I didn’t set any goals for myself last week because I didn’t know what part of the country I would be in or how I would be feeling.
What a week it’s been. I’m learning that I have better coping mechanisms than I ever thought possible. As you know by now, my mom is at the end stages of stage 4 melanoma. I am trying to visit with her now as often as I can. Well, she lives in Florida and I live in Texas. I happen to have a particular fear that doesn’t work too well in this situation. I have a fear of flying, which is compounded by claustrophobia. Not a good match, huh?
I have been working on this fear for many years and actually feel like I have made some strides. I admit that I do take a low dose of xanax to take the edge off before getting in the plane. But I have really done much better lately. I think that when you are given certain circumstances, something else inside of you kicks in, and you just do what has to be done. You are given the strength that you need.
I am sitting bedside with my mom right now. She is sleeping a lot. However, she’s still having some decent moments each day. I just hope that when the time comes I am given even more strength, because I know that I will need it.
Sorry for this depressing post. I give myself a little bit of time each day to be sad and then I move on. I always say, “Life is short, every day is a gift. Be kind to others and don’t forget to take the time to smell the roses!”