Wow! I sure had a tough day today. I’ll vent just a little bit here to hopefully get a whole lot off my chest. My dad has been ill since the end of July. He lives in Florida and I live in Texas. I visited him in Florida back in December when he first moved into an assisted living facility. This particular facility is someone’s converted home. Just today my daughters and I came to Florida to see my dad for a few days.
To say that I was in a state of shock upon seeing my dad would be an understatement. The t-shirt that he was wearing was filthy with food stains from earlier in the day. He was sitting in a wheelchair and was basically sound asleep with his head tilted back and his mouth wide open. He occasionally would utter a few words that didn’t really make much sense. He was barely audible when he spoke to me. He told me that he didn’t want me to leave because he didn’t feel safe. He also told me that he doesn’t want to die.
In the state of Florida, I cannot get him moved to another facility just because I want to. He has to be in a hospital for three nights before they can admit him somewhere else. Is this not the craziest, most absurd thing you have ever heard??!! Before my dad entered this facility he was pretty sane and coherent. This deterioration has me speechless. I’m just glad that I’m here for a few days and hope that we can get something changed for the better for him before it’s too late. I’m hoping to have better news to report in a few days.
Peggy Bayer says
Stacie this breaks my heart to hear. Some of the laws make no sense at all. I read something on Facebook a few days ago about some homes and facilities that medicate to keep them calm and not be bothered by them all the time. One of the drugs mentioned was Seraquil (sp?) and that it caused almost a dementia type behavior. Maybe see if you can find out what drugs he is given on a daily basis. I’m not sure what you could do about getting it stopped if that is the case. I hope you can find some peace for all of you. I will be thinking about you.
Peg~
Stacie says
I do need to see what he is taking. I was thinking they might be giving him prescription cough medicine. We just need to get him out of there. He goes in for hip surgery on the 13th so that will be the end of this place (if he makes it that long). It just stinks and is so sad. Stacie xo
Robin Ruiz says
My heart goes out to you, we have my 96 yr old father living with us, I promised him I would never put him in a home and I’ll admit it’s hard sometimes with my depression but I would do it all over again if I had to. Maybe it’s time he came to live with you, I’m sure medicare pays (some) for home nursing. Prayers going out to you all. Robin
Stacie says
Oh wow, my heart goes out to you too. Aging parents are such a tough one. The problem with my dad is that he’s currently non-ambulatory and there are 5 steep steps to get into the condo where he lives and there is no ramp. He has dialysis 3 days a week, so that would be a lot of in and out of the condo. He’ll be having hip surgery in 10 days, so we’re hoping that he’ll be able to walk at least a little and we’ll find a good placement for him with MUCH better care. Stacie xo
HerLateNightCravings says
Thinking of you!! And pray that you get him taken care of! I know how this must weight on you!!
xoxo
Jayme @ Her Late Night Cravings
Stacie says
It’s so sad how poor elder care is, especially in Florida. Thanks for the prayers! Stacie xo
Sabrina says
Hugs to you Stacie, I am so sad and sorry to read this! Thank God you went to see him when you did. I pray you find a good and safe place for him soon. I’m glad your daughters are with you for support. Please let us know how he’s doing. xo